Genie
Journal
Essay

Is Regifting Rude? What You Can Pass On, and What You Can't

There is a drawer in almost every home that works like a quiet customs office. In it sit the scented candle still in its cellophane, the second copy of a novel, a fondue set waiting for a fondue era that never arrives. Every December someone opens that drawer, looks at a name on a shopping list, and feels a small chill of guilt. Can I give this away? Is regifting rude?

The answer depends on a law that sounds obvious once said aloud and is ignored almost every time: every gift is two gifts. One is a gesture: someone thought of you, chose, wrapped, handed it over. The other is a thing: an object with a weight, a size and a use. They arrive in the same box, but they don't behave alike. The gesture arrives the moment you unwrap it, and it stays with you; nothing you do later can send it back. The thing, on the other hand, is free. So the rule writes itself: regift the thing, never the gesture.

Why regifting feels like betrayal

The practice is as old as presents, but the word is young. On 19 January 1995 the sitcom Seinfeld aired "The Label Maker" (season 6, episode 12), in which Elaine discovers that the dentist Tim Whatley has given Jerry the very label maker she gave Whatley, and corners him: "I knew it! You're a regifter!" The show didn't invent regifting. It gave the guilt a name, and the dictionaries followed.

Seinfeld, “The Label Maker” (1995): “You’re a re-gifter!”
Seinfeld, “The Label Maker” (1995), official clip

The episode also contains, almost by accident, a perfect demonstration of the law. Whatley confesses that the label maker didn't work at all, "the worst gift I ever got", and Elaine explains she bought it because he had been so kind about her dental work, at which point the two of them make up on the spot. The thing failed completely; the gesture still landed.

Seventeen years later three researchers decided to test whether the guilt was justified. Gabrielle Adams, Francis Flynn and Michael Norton ran a series of experiments published in Psychological Science in 2012 (Adams, Flynn & Norton, Psychological Science (SAGE), 2012), and their question was simple: who actually minds? In one study receivers judged regifting to be about as offensive as throwing the gift in the trash (3.50 against 3.66 on a five-point scale, statistically the same). The givers, asked the same thing, saw a clear difference: regifting bothered them far less (2.60) than the bin (3.39). In a study with real friends and real bad gifts, regifters expected the giver's offence at 2.61; the givers actually reported 1.47.

The gap, the authors found, came from a quiet disagreement about ownership. Givers believed that giving passed title to the receiver: it's yours now. Receivers believed the giver kept some say in how the gift was used, as if every present came with an invisible leash. And the paper's discussion contains a line that could be our law's epigraph: the givers' actions in deciding to give, selecting the gift and delivering it "remain intact regardless of what the receivers choose to do with the gifts." The gesture, in other words, has already arrived. The guilt is guarding something that cannot be stolen.

What a gift costs when it stays in the drawer

Economists have their own name for the fondue set: deadweight loss. In 1993 the economist Joel Waldfogel asked Yale undergraduates to estimate how much they would have paid for the presents they'd received and compared that with what the givers had spent. Published in the American Economic Review as "The Deadweight Loss of Christmas" (Waldfogel, American Economic Review (American Economic Association), 1993), it concluded that holiday gifts destroy somewhere between a tenth and a third of their value. Gifts from distant relatives fared worst; those from friends and partners did best. Later studies with broader samples disputed the size of the loss, and some found people valued gifts at more than their price. That matters, because the gesture is exactly the part a price tag can't capture.

Still, Waldfogel noticed something real about the thing. An object that sits unused in a drawer is waste in the most literal sense: someone paid, a factory produced, a truck delivered, and the result is a cellophane-wrapped candle gathering dust. Regifting is the thing's second chance to meet the person it was made for. Seen this way, keeping an unwanted gift out of politeness doesn't honour the giver. It simply loses the thing a second time.

Is regifting rude around the world?

If the law is right, it should survive a trip abroad. Customs differ wildly: some countries have legal return rights for gifts, others have return gifts by custom, others have superstitions that make certain objects untouchable. But try the question in any of them.

Is it OK to return or regift a gift?

The answer for every country
  • United States: Yes, totally. America has a whole party game, the white elephant swap, for gifts nobody wants, and 61% of Americans call regifting acceptable. YouGov, 2024
  • United Kingdom: Yes, totally. According to eBay and Gumtree, 25,000 craft items were already listed on eBay on Christmas Day 2013. Handmade, it seems, travels fast. eBay & Gumtree Unwanted Gift Report, 2013
  • Ireland: Yes, totally. According to eBay, Ireland is Europe’s regifting champion: 67% have regifted or resold, and only 15% think it’s disrespectful. eBay Ireland / Bounce Insights, 2024
  • Canada: Yes, totally. Nearly half of Canadians have regifted, and in Alberta it’s 63%. Politeness and practicality, it turns out, are compatible. Ipsos Reid, 2009
  • Australia: Yes, totally. According to Compare the Market, Australians regift about six times as often as they return gifts: 23.2% against 4%. Compare the Market, 2024
  • Germany: Yes, totally. Shops owe you no exchange by law, only goodwill, yet 49% of Germans plan to take unloved gifts back anyway. Bitkom, 2025
  • Netherlands: Yes, totally. Even the company Christmas box gets resold: Coolblue’s staff Lego set turned up on Marktplaats more than once. Hart van Nederland, 2025
  • France: Yes, totally. According to eBay, 500,000 new listings appeared by the morning of 25 December 2025. The French unwrap, then list. TF1 Info, 2025
  • Italy: Yes, totally. Half of all regifted presents in Italy are food: panettone, pandoro, prosecco. That panettone may well be on its second owner. Confcooperative via ANSA, 2025
  • Spain: Yes, totally. Spain has a date for it: Wallapop calls 28 December “Re-Selling Day”, and according to Wallapop, 61% plan to sell unwanted gifts. Wallapop / MUP Research, 2024
  • Mexico: Yes, totally. Mexican Spanish has a word for it: roperazo, a gift kept until it can be given away. Language authorities now recommend it over “regifting”. FundéuRAE, 2025
  • Sweden: Yes, totally. According to Tradera, over 12,000 unwanted gifts changed hands on Christmas Eve 2023, with listings starting when Donald Duck comes on TV. Tradera, 2023
  • Denmark: Yes, totally. In Denmark the gift often arrives with its exit ticket attached, a byttemærke (exchange tag). Store credit usually lasts three years. Forbrugerrådet Tænk, 2025
  • Russia: Yes, totally. According to Avito, 83,000 listings in January 2026 used the same phrase: “got it as a gift, not using it”. The genre has its own catchphrase. Avito via Ecomhub, 2026
  • Israel: Yes, totally. It’s in the law: with an exchange slip, even a gift bought in a shop can usually be cancelled within 14 days, for a small fee. Emun HaTzibur (consumer organisation)
  • Japan: Yes, totally. Japanese custom already sends something back: okaeshi, a return gift worth about half. And the catalog gift lets the recipient choose the thing themselves. Japan Post
  • China: Yes, totally. A clock is never simply given, because the phrase sounds like seeing someone to their death. The recipient pays a coin, and the gift becomes a purchase. China Daily, 2014
  • South Korea: Yes, totally. After Chuseok, Spam gift sets go up for resale, one listed at ₩40,000 against ₩50,000 online. Just not supplements or alcohol: those are illegal to resell. JoongAng Ilbo, 2023
  • India: Yes, totally. The Diwali box of Soan Papdi is India’s favourite regifting joke: “no one ever buys Soan Papdi; it just keeps circulating.” Times of India, 2025
  • Saudi Arabia: Yes, totally. Compliment an object in a Saudi home and your host may feel bound to give it to you. Things circulate; hospitality stays. Cultural Atlas (SBS)
  • Other country: Yes, totally. Every gift is two gifts: a gesture and a thing. The gesture has already arrived and stays with you. The thing is free to travel on. Genie Journal

Spin the dial long enough and a pattern appears. Not one culture insists that the object must stay where it landed. Germans return it, Swedes sell it before the Christmas special ends, Italians pass on the panettone, and in Japan custom sends a return gift back by design. What every culture does protect is the gesture. The Chinese coin for a clock exists so that a bad omen never touches the giver's goodwill. The Japanese catalog lets the giver's care arrive while the choice of thing stays with the receiver. Even the Danish exchange tag is a small piece of tact: the thing may go, and nobody has to say so.

To confess or to hide

Once regifting is allowed, the etiquette argument begins, and the authorities disagree with real style. Judith Martin, who writes as Miss Manners (today together with Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin), put it in one sentence in 2024: "The etiquette on regifting is not to get caught." When the giver and the new recipient move in the same circle, she judged the risk not worth it and suggested someone "preferably... in another state or country."

The Canadian etiquette columnist Kim Izzo, speaking on Oprah's show in 2004, took the opposite line. Regifting in secret, she said, is rude; "you can absolutely pass it on, but be open about it. Do it in the moment." The Emily Post Institute sits between them: telling the recipient the gift was regifted is "one straightforward and great way to do it", and quiet regifting is allowed only under strict conditions: original packaging, nothing personal, and real confidence that nobody would be hurt if they found out.

The law of the two gifts reconciles them. Izzo and Post are honest about the thing: it's an object, and you say where it came from. Miss Manners is careful with the gesture: she hides its history so that the first giver's care is never exposed as merely recycled. Both protect the same thing from different sides. Be truthful about the object; be tender with the gesture.

Regifting etiquette: do and don't

Do regift

  • Duplicates: the second copy of a book, the second coffee maker.
  • Books, and anything unopened in its original packaging.
  • Gift cards. If you're regifting a gift card, check the balance and expiry date first.
  • Into a different circle from the one the gift came from.
  • With a fresh card and fresh wrapping, in your own words.

Don't regift

  • Handmade items: the scarf someone knitted is the gesture.
  • Anything personalised, engraved or monogrammed.
  • Anything used, opened or missing parts.
  • Within the same circle, and never back to the original giver.
  • In old wrapping, or with a card addressed to someone else.
  • Objects loaded with superstition in the recipient's culture, like clocks for a Chinese recipient or knives for a Russian one.

What to do with unwanted gifts

Regifting is only one exit. If there is a gift receipt, exchange is the cleanest. In most places it rests on the shop's goodwill rather than the law; Israel is a notable exception. Returning for credit works the same way. Donating gives the thing a new owner without the social arithmetic. Reselling has become a seasonal sport: according to Bitkom, 18% of Germans plan to resell unloved Christmas gifts through flea-market apps, and in the UK, Which? found that more people handed unwanted presents to friends or charity shops than gave them back. Only 1% returned them to the giver. Whatever the route, the principle holds: the thing should go where it will be used, and the gesture stays home.

The best regift

The best regifted gift, though, is the one that never needed a second owner. Every drawer of cellophane is a record of a guess that missed, and good intentions can't fix a guess; only information can. In Genie, your profile can show acquaintances what you love and a do-not-buy list, while the wishlist itself goes only to the people closest to you (the same distances as on a birthday), so the thing has a better chance of finding the right person the first time.

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